AuKestrel forwarded me this link to The Onion's article "Newly Out Gay Man Overdoing It", and it amused me enough to make me take seventeen minutes out of my, um, busy schedule to write this dS silliness:

(And let me just add as a disclaimer that I really don't think that this is what's buried deep inside Fraser, just waiting to be released *g*)


Fraser Unleashed
by Beth H.
(c) October 2002


Ray glared across the room at Huey and Dewey, but they they were too busy staring open-mouthed at Fraser to pay any attention to Ray's quelling look.

He sighed. Couldn't really blame them. This 'New Fraser' was freaking him out almost as much as he was freaking out everyone else at the station, and what made it worse was that Ray was pretty sure he'd been the catalyst for the changes.

It had taken him six months to get up the nerve to let Fraser know he was interested in him. Six months of beating himself up inside, sure that saying anything would be an even stupider idea than asking Stella out for a date a year after she'd told him to fuck off, sure that the best response he'd get from Fraser would be some story about how Raven had divided all living beings into two sexes for a reason.

When he finally did say something, it was late one night when he was a lot tired and a little drunk, so it took him a few minutes to realize the words 'God, I want to do you' had actually come out of his mouth. Before he had a chance to panic about what he'd said, though, he was being pushed back onto the couch and had 180 pounds of enthusiastic Mountie (who was neither tired nor drunk) plastered all over him.

Once the two of them had come up for air hours later, Ray found out that Fraser had just been waiting for a cue from him all those months - and that if there *was* any story about Raven dividing living beings into two sexes for a reason, Fraser didn't give a damn about it, which was pretty much the way Ray felt too, so that was all good.

However, not everything that followed was quite so good.

The first sign Ray had that something weird was going on was when Frannie complimented Fraser on the 'jaunty angle' he was wearing the Stetson these days. Ray rolled his eyes when he heard that, then turned to grin at Fraser, but when he looked at his partner, Fraser was just nodding in acknowledgment and asking Frannie if she thought it was a bit too much.

Ray looked back and forth between the two of them - and then looked at the hat. It was at a jaunty angle, not that he was sure what 'jaunty' even meant. When had this started?

After that day, Ray started noticing other changes to Fraser's appearance and behavior. Most of the changes were pretty small, like when Fraser casually mentioned that he now preferred The Wizard of Oz to ET, but not all of them were - and once Fraser adopted something new, it usually stuck.

The weirdest were the days when Fraser wasn't on duty.

When he was on duty, having to report in at the Consulate meant that Fraser was probably going to be wearing his Serge and would have his face washed clean of the lipstick and eyeliner he'd taken to wearing on a regular basis on his off-days. Plus, the finger-snapping was kept to a minimum since the Ice Queen would probably snap his fingers right off his hands if he finger-snapped in her presence. But on Fraser's days off, there was little or nothing to keep him from giving free rein to his impulses, even if he happened to be paying a visit to the 2-7.

Ray'd been trying harder than hell over the past five weeks to keep himself from telling Fraser what he could or couldn't do. He kept reminding himself that he'd fallen in love with a ground-licking, bobbing- for-trout, boy scout freak, and if he could put up with the freakishness that Fraser had already shown before they got together, he could put up with anything.

But it was easier said than done when Fraser showed up at the station wearing three inch silver platforms, vinyl hip hugger bell bottoms, a silver and black silk shirt opened to his navel, and more makeup than Siouxsie ever wore (with or without the rest of the Banshees), and started flapping his hands gleefully from the doorway as soon as he saw Ray.

"Yoo hoo! Sweetie!"

Ray grinned weakly in greeting, then sat back down at his desk, covered his face with his hands, and sighed. It was going to be another long day.


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