The following news story appeared on a list:

>From News of the Weird:
> In Winnipeg, Manitoba, in July, David Dauphinee, 52, and his brother
> Daniel, 51, both retired senior members of the Royal Canadian Mounted
> Police, were convicted of bombarding local police officers with oranges
> and onions while standing on a 19th-floor balcony, while the local
> officers were investigating a break-in on a ground floor nearby. The brothers
> have had other recent confrontations with law-enforcement officers, and
> David's ex-wife Debbie described the men as "dumb and dumber."

...and at the end, the person who posted it, asked:

> What *would* Fraser say??

My response?

by Beth H
(c) 4 September 2002


"Ray. Ray. Ray. Ray. Ray!"

"What? What's the matter?"

"Has it escaped your notice that there are *people* down there?"

"Oh. You mean this thing with the produce?"

"Yes. This 'thing with the produce.'"

"Sorry about that. It's just...."

"It's just what?"

"Oh, come on, Ben. Don't tell me it doesn't look fun."

"Honestly, Ray - your notions of fun are...."

"The oranges especially...and the way they splat all over everything. Admit it. Admit it looks fun, and I'll let you have one of my oranges."

"I'll admit nothing of the kind."

"Your loss."

(long pause)



"Perhaps you'd...oh, all right. Hand over a tomato."

"Okay, that's buddies!"


Return to random snippets

Return to main page