With apologies to Rapunzel (...a failed attempt to keep to 100 words during a week in which the Snape100 drabble community had a fairy tale challenge).
The Man in the Tower
Once upon a time there was a long-nosed potions brewer who - for reasons that don't need exploring at this juncture - had been locked away in an imp-filled castle by a powerful wizard for many years. Despite the old wizard's assurances that keeping the potions brewer inside the castle would guarantee his safety, the man began to despair of ever seeing his release.
One day, however, when the potions brewer had temporarily left off sulking in the castle dungeons and was sulking in the castle's highest tower instead, a young, bespectacled Prince happened by. Seizing his chance, the potions brewer called down to the Prince with the words that would free him.
Remembering what people said about men with big noses, the hormonally-charged Prince thought "what the hell" and spoke the magic words.
"Severus, Severus...let down your hair, and I shall climb the ebon stair"
In an instant, the brewer's long, black tresses cascaded down the side of the tower, and the prince began to climb, but try though he might, he could not climb more than a few feet without sliding back down to the ground below.
"Huh. I guess Ron was right," muttered the Prince as he wiped his hands on his robes and started to walk away. "He is a greasy git."
"Come back here at once, you stupid boy!" the imprisoned brewer screamed desperately from the tower window.
But the Prince was gone.
As the potions brewer's fingers tightened on the window sill and he cursed his lost opportunity, the door creaked open behind him.
"Lemon drop, Severus?" offered the old wizard.
"Happily ever after, my arse," muttered the potions brewer.