Written in the midst of the 2005 HP fandom ship crisis, after noticing how many Snape fans - yes, me included - have been hoping that if things go irrevocably wrong for our boy in the final book (i.e., if we no longer can rationalize his behavior), we won't fall prey to fannish "despair" - at least not out loud.

So . . . imagine if you will that the year is 2007, and the final book has just been released. Can you honestly imagine any outcome for Severus other than "Snape is Teh Evol" or "Snape is Teh Ded?" No, I didn't think you could.

But all is not lost! And so with apologies to Gloria Gaynor (for butchering her song "I Will Survive"), here's a little Meta-Filk set in the future.

You Will Survive
by Beth H.
(c) July 21, 2005

At first I was afraid, I was petrified,
Kept thinking I could never write if you were bad (or died).
But now I've IM'ed with my friends,
And my betas came online
And I think that though you're EVIL dead
It's going to be just fine.

And so . . . all right, you were AK'd
Potter walked in to find you'd fallen and were ready for the grave
But he remembered what Slugs said
And so he flew to Spinner's End,
And there hidden in the elven-wine, he found your soul again!

Or maybe you . . opened a door
And all the other Death Eaters were using Lupin as a whore
No, Dumbledore had never really had your trust,
Oh but Lupin -
Yeah, you could change sides for lust.

Oh yeah! You will survive!
Just as long as these plot bunnies breed, Snape smut will stay alive;
You're a nasty greasy git,
But I am not done with you yet, so you'll survive,
You'll survive. Hey hey.

It took all the strength I had not to fall apart
Interviews (and canon) doomed me to a broken heart,
I spent almost two whole years
Just feeling sorry for myself. Oh no, the pain!
But now I'm writing once again.

If it's the last . . . thing that I do,
I'll find a way to keep you "busy" for a wizard's life or two
(And if you feel, just once or twice,
Like being sensitive and kind. . .
I can write a couple A.U.'s where a Curse empties your mind)

Oh yeah!.. etc

repeat chorus until music fades out...

Comments, critiques, chit chat: beth-h @ mrks.org

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