A thank you drabble (for Lizard) that got a little out of hand.
The Morning After
He didn't have to open his eyes to recognize the voice as Potter's, which was just as well since he wasn't sure he could open his eyes even if he wanted to.
Which he didn't.
"Come on, get up."
"Bad as my mum used to be," Severus muttered. "Every Saturday and Sunday morning, up at the crack of dawn, sending me off to the allotment." With what seemed to be a herculean effort, he opened one eye. "I don't suppose you want me down the allotment?"
Potter shook his head. "No, but you're lying at the foot of the stairs, and...look, everybody's going to be waking up soon, and you don't want to be lying here when they come downstairs, do you?"
Severus coughed, then hit his chest a few times with the palm of his hand and coughed again. "Is it likely they're going to step on me?"
"Well, no," Potter said, "but..."
"Then I don't give a damn," he said, before curling up more tightly on the threadbare carpet and pulling his cloak up over his head.
Potter sighed. "Okay, then...do you want a hangover potion or something?"
Severus snorted, then pulled the cloak off his face again. "Doesn't work if you're shi-still pissed."
"How about a sobriety potion, then?"
"Haven't let myself get thish rat-arsed in years," Severus said, "and I'm not washting...wasting it by drinking some bloody sober tyres potion."
"Thas what I said, you little pissant." Snape wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. "And why the hell are you being so sho-lish...stolishtysh...so helpful anyway? You don't owe me anything."
Potter knelt beside Severus and stared at him.
"Are you mad? You saved my life."
"Oh, right," Severus said blearily. "I did, didn't I?"
"Yeah." Potter said, then stood up and brushed the dust off his knees. "So...are you going to get up?"
Severus looked undecided for a long moment, then shrugged. "Why not. It's not as if I have anything better to do."
Potter stood by, silently, as Severus tried - unsuccessfully - to get to his feet.
"Do you need a hand," he said, finally.
Severus scowled. "You're enjoying this, aren't you?"
"A little," he said, then extended his right arm. "Come on, take my hand."
Severus did so, then stood unsteadily, trying to get his balance.
"You all right?" Potter asked.
Severus just grunted, but then he looked up and met Potter's gaze.
"You killed him last night, didn't you?" Severus said. "That wasn't a hallucination?"
"No," Potter said, shaking his head. "No hallucination. I killed him."
Severus nodded. "Good."
"Yeah," said Potter quietly.
"Oh bloody, effing, buggering hell!"
"What is it," Potter asked with concern.
"I think I've sobered up." Severus said, attempting to smack his hand down on the bannister and missing it entirely, almost falling over in the process.
"Right," said Potter, grabbing onto Severus's arm. "I can see that."
Severus glared at the young man. "You're humouring me, aren't you?"
"Yep. You want some coffee? I just made a fresh pot."
"Is it poisoned?"
Potter laughed, then started walking down the hallway toward the kitchen.
"Well?" Severus called after him. "Is it? Potter, I asked you a question. Potter!"