(Written to amuse midnitemaraud_r)
Neville would say later that he and Argus were fated to be, but in the beginning, Neville was just...confused. After all, it wasn't much of a surprise that the two of them might meet up accidentally at a seminar sponsored by Wizards Who Love Their Pets Too Much, or that they'd run into each other a week later at the Squibs/Mostly Squibs mixer, but when Argus walked in the door at the Peacock Feather Fanciers Potluck Supper, Neville started to wonder what was going on.
And it wasn't just the coincidental meetings that had Neville on edge. No, it was the fact that Argus (Mr Filch, as he was then) had started to look good. Really good. Without changing a thing about himself. Possibly without even washing his clothes.
When Neville finally got up enough nerve to ask Hermione what he could do about his strange attraction, she took action immediately and fixed him up with a baker's dozen witches and wizards of her acquaintance, but it was no good. How could any of them compete with a man who knew everything there was to know about Linseed Oil?
But it wasn't until Neville found himself sharing a ride with Argus in the Centaur Phallus Worshippers holiday sleigh ride that he suspected destiny might be taking a hand.
Coming soon: Imaginary Chapter 2 - "Argus Meets Gran"