So..McTabby was running a "Summary Suckathon" one weekend, in which all entrants write one bad story summary, are then *given* a bad summary in exchange (apparently this is done by McTabby's Sorting Cat *g*), and then have to write a "drabble/fic/whatever" based on that summary. Intentional badfic isn't required, but...

This was mine:

(Summary: Hogwarts has been turned into a giant rollerdisco! B there or B square!!!...Summary written by Tinderblast)

Celebration! (with thanks to Kool and the Gang for the title)
by Beth H.
May 29, 2004

The party to celebrate the final defeat of 'He Who Can Now Be Named, But Why Bother' was in full swing at Hogwarts School for Witchcraft and Wizardry. A huge mirror-ball that had been charmed to reflect not only images but also sounds was magically levitated above the students' heads, Hagrid's half-brother Grawp was the DJ [A/N: now it's a real "giant rollerdisco" LOL!!!], and everybody was having a great time.

Well. Almost everybody.

"Now, now Severus," Albus Dumbledore said with a smile, his blue eyes twinkling over his half-moon spectacles, "surely it's not as bad as all that."

"Not all that bad???" shrieked Severus Snape, the Potions Master, his eyes flashing dangerously. "Not all that bad??? I'm flat on my arse in front of my colleagues and students and wearing a shiny fuschia jumpsuit. How can you say it's not all that bad????"

Minerva McGonagall traded an amused glance with the headmaster, then looked down at her fallen colleague. "It could be worse, Severus."

"Worse!!! How could it be worse???"

"The trousers you're wearing - and you know, it's your own fault that the pair you transfigured were so . . . form-fitting - they could have split down the backside, I suppose. That would be worse, now, wouldn't it?"

A fiery blush blazed across the Potions Master's normally sallow cheeks, and he looked away.

"Oh, for Circe's sake, Severus," Minerva clucked impatiently. "You are a wizard, you know."

She reached down into the hidden pocket of her knee-high, white patent-leather boots and pulled out her wand.

"Trousero Repairo!" [A/N: I don't think that's a real spell, but you know what I mean. LOL!!]

Professor Snape wriggled a bit, then carefully reached one hand underneath his bum to make sure McGonagall had done her job. He breathed a sigh of relief. He'd already had one set of underpants revealed to all and sundry at this blasted school, and he didn't want it to happen again. Somehow he was certain that it would be even more humiliating if anyone discovered his secret predilection for Eeyore-themed underwear [A/N: I've set up a yahoogroups poll. Vote for whether you think Snapey would be wearing Eeyore boxers or Eeyore briefs. LOL!!!]

The Headmaster smiled. "Now, if we've . . . covered everything, my boy, perhaps you'd return to your chaperoning duties."

Snape looked away again and muttered something under his breath.

"What was that, Severus? I'm afraid I couldn't quite make out what you said over the music. My goodness . . 'Funkytown' is certainly a lively number, isn't it?"

"I said that I can't stand up. These idiotic . . . why would Muggles want to wear wheels on their feet? Surely it makes it impossible for them to do their jobs, to say nothing of . . . "

Whatever Snape was going to say was cut off by the sound of giggling behind him. He groaned. Hermione Granger. Of course. Could this night get any worse?

"Sorry to interrupt, Sir, but most Muggles don't wear skates when they work. They're just for fun, although there are some professions which . . ."

"Ten points from Gryffindor for telling me more than I wanted to know about Muggles," he snarled. "Now . . . piss off."

"Severus!" Minerva huffed. "Language!

Dumbledore gave his Potions Master a disappointed look, then smiled at Hermione. "Miss Granger, perhaps you should rejoin your friends on the dance floor." [A/N: No, Jordan, this is not going to be one of those gross SS/HG stories, even if it is your birthday! Yuk!!! LOL!!!]

"Yes, Sir," Hermione sniffed, then skated off in the direction of Grawp.

After she was gone, the Headmaster waved his own wand over Snape. "Magister Leviosa" [A/N: That's a real spell, right? LOL!!!] he said, and in a flash, Snape was back on his feet wheels.

All at once the Great Hall became strangely quiet. Where was the music?

The mirrorball-amplified sound of Grawp's voice shattered the silence. "Erevoks Herm! Ogg Lzzoo Dzhonnnnn! Grrrraaaazzz"

The crowd turned toward Grawp, but Hagrid stepped in front of his brother.

"Sorry abou' tha' everyone. He's still havin' a bi' of trouble with English, like. Wha' he was tryin' to say was that a secret somebody'd asked him to dedicate this nex' song to Professor Snape. So . . here's Olivia Newton John with . . . " He squinted at the parchment in his hands. "Oh, there, I can see it now! It's the Grease mega-mix!"

The students burst into laughter, but everyone could still hear Hagrid's booming voice over the sounds of laughter. "Was tha' alright, Hermione? Oh, oh . . . I shoudn've said your name, should I?"

[A/N: I'm stopping here because I ran out of ideas and I have to study for an Algebra test. But if you want to help with the next bit, let me know. I'm Dracoslut69 on YIM and Harryslut69 on AIM]

Comments, critiques, chit chat: beth-h @

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